true as fuck zodiac - prominent featuresaries: so fucking stubborn. they will hold a grudge til the end of time
taurus: they are fucking nerds.
gemini: defo the random outbursts
cancer: rudeness. so fucking rude. god damn.
leo: they're about 4'9"
virgo: they don't want to talk to you at all
libra: weird ass laugh
scorpio: the fact that you can directly see hell in their eyes
sagittarius: fuckin strange ass humor
capricorn: creepy fucking smile
aquarius: kinda givin off a gay vibe
pisces: p conceited and that shit is not confidence as they may think it is

nitriion:

I think we can all agree that the best part of destiel is sam.

iamthedukeofurl:

wholockian-at-hogwarts:

WHAT DO YOU AMERICANS MEAN WHEN A SHOW IS ON AT LIKE FUCKIN “8/7c” WHAT IS THAT????

We never switched over to metric timekeeping. The c stands for “Caw”, referring to how many times a majestic eagle has flown overhead and cawed that day. Sometimes the eagles are feeling sluggish, so the show could be on after either the 7th or 8th caw. 

professorfangirl:

prokopetz:

This is the one time of year that I love wasps.
Not because the wasps themselves get any nicer. They’re horrid little creatures year round. No, it’s because I have a couple of big apple trees out back, and late August, early September is when the apples start ripening.
Now, if you don’t harvest your own fruit, there are two things you need to know about apples.
The first thing you need to know about apples is that, when apples get ripe, they tend to fall from the tree at the slightest breeze.
I often work late at the office; by the time I get home, there are piles of apples scattered everywhere - and sure enough, the wasps are out in force, gorging themselves on the fruit. When I go to clean up the windfallen apples, the wasps naturally do the “rawr, I’ma fuck you up!” routine for which wasps are known.
The second thing you need to know about apples is that they ferment very rapidly in the late August heat.
So: the wasps try to come at me, but they’re too drunk to fly. They get about an inch off the ground, then faceplant directly into the turf, flip over onto their backs, and lay there, legs twitching in the air as they try in vain to find something to sting.
Perhaps I’m a man of simple pleasures, but I bust up laughing every. single. time.
Fucking wasps.

I tried to reblog this with a witty tag, but Tumblr took it as serious advice:

professorfangirl:

prokopetz:

This is the one time of year that I love wasps.

Not because the wasps themselves get any nicer. They’re horrid little creatures year round. No, it’s because I have a couple of big apple trees out back, and late August, early September is when the apples start ripening.

Now, if you don’t harvest your own fruit, there are two things you need to know about apples.

The first thing you need to know about apples is that, when apples get ripe, they tend to fall from the tree at the slightest breeze.

I often work late at the office; by the time I get home, there are piles of apples scattered everywhere - and sure enough, the wasps are out in force, gorging themselves on the fruit. When I go to clean up the windfallen apples, the wasps naturally do the “rawr, I’ma fuck you up!” routine for which wasps are known.

The second thing you need to know about apples is that they ferment very rapidly in the late August heat.

So: the wasps try to come at me, but they’re too drunk to fly. They get about an inch off the ground, then faceplant directly into the turf, flip over onto their backs, and lay there, legs twitching in the air as they try in vain to find something to sting.

Perhaps I’m a man of simple pleasures, but I bust up laughing every. single. time.

Fucking wasps.

I tried to reblog this with a witty tag, but Tumblr took it as serious advice:

image

dean-has-a-wing-kink:

if this gets 500 notes i’ll re-read the first three chapters of twist and shout

if it gets 1,000 notes then 1. screw you guys and 2. I’ll re-read all of twist and shout and probably make fanart of it and reblog a lot of it

and if this gets like 5 notes then idk guys, I’ll do the summer homework i never did that’s due in a week

supernaturally-obsessed-oneshots:

When people aren’t sure whether they should read Twist and Shout and I just sit there maniacally laughing like

image

(Source: castiel-novakaine)

yep-too-gone-already:

danisnotonfire:

NEW VIDEO EVERYONE! ‘Dan and Tyler Being Offensive’

so this made me laugh so hard i started crying. i don’t think you understand the level of wonderful.

asksowachowski:

i had a lot of skirts when i was alive
but my favourite was the purple one for sure!

welcometohellfilm:

creapex:

Mephistopheles is one big lanky dork babe

BIG LANKY DORK BABE

welcometohellfilm:

creapex:

Mephistopheles is one big lanky dork babe

BIG LANKY DORK BABE

proctalgia:

girls dont want you to be nice to them because they’re girls they want you to be nice to them because they’re human beings and you should be nice to everyone wtf is wrong with you